Intro

When I first got serious with my now husband, he was a Petty Officer in the Navy with an ex-wife, a child, and no college education. I had graduated from a private university in MA, traveled the world, and had serious professional ambitions. Fast forward to 2010 and I am a stay-at-home mom, military spouse, stepmother, who sometimes struggles to balance this life with the one she wanted all her pre-Navy life. Along the way, my husband earned his BA, became an Officer while I got my Master's and became a mom. The Navy is providing a good life for us, but it's not without its challenges for me and my family.

I've met many wonderful spouses who in some way or another do not fit the typical military spouse mold, whatever interpretation that may have for you. For me, that means a young woman who marries her recently enlisted sweetheart right out of high school and starts a family right away. She then gets swept up in the military life of raising a family by herself, possibly working, while her husband is deployed. After a few years she may look into getting a college education, but finds that balancing this military life a little overwhelming.

I do not fit that mold. During the early stages of my relationship with my husband, none of his colleagues or superiors thought it possible that a "college girl" would want to be with an enlisted man. One Captain even told my husband he "married above his pay grade". Having a degree never gave me sense of superiority amongst the wives since I knew a few others like me and, most importantly, because all the wives I've ever met are strong, courageous, dedicated mothers and partners.

After my husband became an Officer, I earned my MA, and we moved out East, I thought I was going to start a fabulous career in DC and put my son in childcare, like everyone else does. The reality was that competition in the area is fierce, childcare expensive, and my conscience was making me feel guilty about leaving my son in someone else's care for most of the day. Eventually, I found part-time work that was both professionally and personally rewarding but my husband was being deployed at the same time. So it began, the single mom life of a working military spouse. In this respect we are all the same.

It's alway comforting to receive support form other spouses, especially if they are more familiar with your particular set of challenges. I hope that this blog will help spouses like me get some insight and advice about this crazy life we have chosen to live. Even if you are not a spouse that shares my history, I know there will be information on this blog to help us all, as mothers, as partners, as members of the service ourselves.

Please join me in contributing your knowledge to this forum and making our military life all the more enriched.